


Sometimes Mistakes Are Made in Order for Us to Learn and Move On

by kpopismydrug



Series: Moving On [2]
Category: Super Junior
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, old fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-09
Updated: 2015-04-09
Packaged: 2018-03-22 03:19:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3712879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kpopismydrug/pseuds/kpopismydrug
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Disaster comes in all shapes and forms. For Kyuhyun, it came in the form of losing his boyfriend’s daughter, and having his past creep into his life again. But due to Kyuhyun’s own fear, his choice of keeping Donghae in the dark threatens to destroy them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sometimes Mistakes Are Made in Order for Us to Learn and Move On

**Author's Note:**

> Seriously, what was I thinking with the loooooong titles????

 

 

 

 

“You’re going to be in so much trouble.”

 

“Not helping, Kibum.”

 

“You’ve been dating Donghae for a month, and already you’ve caused trouble.”

 

Kyuhyun spun to glare at his seven-year-old nephew, finger poised in warning as strangers bustled past them.

 

“Not helping.” Kyuhyun growled.

 

Kibum glanced at his finger and folded his arms across his chest, expression completely at ease to the murderous stare that Kyuhyun was currently giving him.

 

“How are you going to explain to Donghae that you lost Hana?” he innocently asked him, and Kyuhyun inhaled a deep, calming breath as he spun to continue marching towards the customer help desk.

 

As Kyuhyun explained the situation to the girl behind the desk, Kyuhyun wanted to rip the judgmental expression off the female’s face when she left him to make the announcement for Hana throughout the mall.

 

He didn’t do it on purpose! Hana was just really small and nibble. He had just taken his eyes off her for one second to make sure that Kibum was following him, and when he glanced down to ask her what she would like for lunch, she was gone.

 

He had tried to smoother the panic as he searched the children’s clothing store that they had just been in, only to see no sign of her. He had even begun to visibly shake whilst questioning the staff that worked in the store, and even gave his phone number to them so that if she came back or they saw her, they would contact him immediately.

 

Kibum had tried to look for her at first, but Kyuhyun kept a firm hand on his wrist as they began to search the surrounding stores.

 

He had already misplaced one child, he couldn’t misplace another.

 

The announcement ran through Kyuhyun’s ears and mind, cementing this moment firmly into his memory so that he’d always remember this fear and helpless panic. He politely thanked the female, and headed back out on his search for Donghae’s daughter.

 

 “Where would she have gone?” Kyuhyun questioned as he and Kibum kept their eyes and ears open for Hana.

 

This was meant to be fun trip out to the mall whilst Donghae worked on a new photo shoot that Kibum’s mother, Kyuhyun’s sister, was hired to do.

 

He knew he should’ve just taken them to the beach instead, but no, both of them ganged up on him by wishing to play at the mall.

 

“If I was a girl, where would I go?” Kibum mumbled as he walked on his tiptoes to see well.

 

“Where would a _little_ girl go?” Kyuhyun reiterated, and they both headed towards the build a teddy store.

 

Kyuhyun kept an eye on Kibum as he explained to the staff, and his stomach dropped at hearing that they hadn’t seen the little girl he was showing them on his phone.

 

Kyuhyun sighed as he glanced down at his phone’s background of Hana and Donghae smiling at him, and thanked the staff before hurrying Kibum out of the store.

 

With every shop they went in, Kyuhyun’s worry rose higher with every sad shake of the head that was given to him.

 

Ten minutes later, and Kyuhyun was close to having a breakdown.

 

“Hana?!” He yelled, not giving a damn about the looks that were coming his way as he and Kibum ran through the mall, shouting the little girl’s name.

 

They were back to where they started from, the staff members shaking their heads at him when he caught their eyes.

 

“Hana!” Kyuhyun yelled as he rushed past a game shop that he hadn’t looked in before, feet skidding to a halt as he spun to run inside with Kibum calling his name in confusion, his brain wishing to kick himself for the lapse of memory.

 

Hana loved Kyuhyun’s job as a games tester, and as he stormed down the aisles searching for her, a little and all too familiar giggle had him sprinting to the far back of the store.

 

“Hana!” Kyuhyun exclaimed in shock, anger, relief, everything he’d been experiencing the past ten minutes came through his tone as the five-year-old merrily danced away with a pair of headphones over her ears, her little feet stomping on the kiddie dance mat she was playing on.

 

Kyuhyun fell to his knees and yanked the little girl into his arms; her squeal of surprise was music to his ears.

 

“Don’t you ever do that again, do you understand me!” Kyuhyun’s voice was shaky as he gripped the little girl hard to his chest, his heart still hammering away, despite having her in his arms.

 

“I thought that we were coming here next?” Hana asked him, her tone confused as he refused her to pull away from him.

 

“No, we were going to get lunch,” Kibum told her, his tone soft as always when he spoke to her, and he came around them to ruffle her short, brown hair.

 

Kyuhyun allowed Hana to pull back and she gave him an apologetic look that kicked his heart.

 

“Sorry, Kyuhyun,” she quietly apologised, her eyes looking down at the floor.

 

“I’m sorry as well,” he told her gently, and pulled her into a reassuring hug. “I should’ve kept a closer eye on you in such a busy place.”

 

“Are you going to tell my daddy?” she asked him, her tone pleading with him not to.

 

Kyuhyun sighed and pulled away from the hug. “I’ll break it to him gently; it’ll be me that will get wrong Hana, not you.” He told her as he began to lead the two kids out of the store.

 

“No, I should get wrong too!” she argued fiercely, eyes burning up at him when he glanced down to look at her.

 

“Do you have to tell him?” Kibum asked him from his other side, and Kyuhyun shot him a disapproving look.

 

“I’m not lying about something like this, Kibum.” He scolded his nephew as they headed towards the food court on the other side of the mall.

 

“I’m not saying you have to lie, just don’t bring it up.” Kibum suggested and Hana agreed loudly, her hand tightened around his as she pleaded with him to agree.

 

Kyuhyun gritted his teeth and shook his head no, eyes staring determinedly straight ahead.

 

“I’m not doing it.” He told them firmly, ignoring the Hana’s pleads, and Kibum’s muttering under his breath.

 

He wasn’t going to lie to Donghae. No way.

 

 

 

 

“So are we clear?” Kyuhyun asked them, watching their heads bob up and down. “We’re never to repeat about losing each other, okay?” he repeated his previous words from their discussion whilst eating their lunch.

 

“I never lost you,” Kibum pointed out, and Kyuhyun refrained from shoving the mint & chocolate ice cream into his nephew’s face.

 

“Clear!” Hana agreed enthusiastically from around the cherry flavoured ice lolly she had in her mouth.

 

Kyuhyun sigh was heavy with guilt from his decision of not informing Donghae about today’s mishap. He will someday, just not today. He couldn’t stomach the thought of losing Donghae now when they’ve only been together a month after dancing around their attraction for each other for the past few months.

 

Kyuhyun knew that by withholding this may cause later friction between him and Donghae, but he was terrified of admitting it to his boyfriend now.

 

Kyuhyun watched Hana devour her ice lolly, pausing every so often to talk with Kibum, whom was attempting to point out the dresses that she should never wear that the other girls were wearing.

 

“She’s five.” Kyuhyun reminded the boy.

 

“And I’m seven; it won’t hurt her to know what suits her.” Kibum retorted.

 

“You’re children; you shouldn’t be worrying about stuff like this!” Kyuhyun told off his nephew, wishing that his sister didn’t work in the fashion industry, or was obsessed with it to the point her son was obsessed too.

 

Kibum’s answer went over his head as Kyuhyun’s phone started to ring with an incoming call. He did panic briefly, thinking it was Donghae, but seeing the number that he thought he’d never see again flash on his screen, Kyuhyun wished it was Donghae.

 

“Aren’t you going to answer?” Hana asked him curiously, and Kyuhyun declined the call as he smiled at her.

 

“They can wait.” He told her sweetly, and ignored the way his nephew was eying him with suspicion.

 

“Shall we go play in the arcade?” Kyuhyun suggested with an enthusiastic clap of his hands, and Hana agreed just as enthusiastically as she shuffled down from her seat.

 

As they went to that part in the mall, Kyuhyun could feel his nephew’s gaze refuse to leave him as they walked.

 

Kyuhyun gave him a flat look. “What?”

 

“What?” Kibum repeated.

 

Kyuhyun scowled down at the boy, and tightened his hand around Hana’s and Kibum’s hands.

 

Just a few more hours until he could get rid of him, Kyuhyun started to chant as Kibum continued to stare at him.

 

The arcade was busy due to it being Saturday, so Kyuhyun kept his eyes and hands firmly locked on the children as he changed some notes into coins for the arcade machines.

 

His anxiety dimmed after half an hour of playing games with them, but it still lingered, keeping him observant and careful as they travelled around the arcade.

 

Eventually, Kibum grew tired and bored of the games, but remained silent when Hana was around him so that he wouldn’t spoil her fun.

 

It was a shame he couldn’t do that for his uncle.

 

“Who are you avoiding?” Kibum demanded for tenth time as they sat and watched Hana play in photo booth that was making her squeal and chat animatedly at seeing the cute and pretty options for her pictures.

 

And for the tenth time, Kyuhyun growled, “No one.”

 

“Then why are you becoming angry?” Kibum shot back, jabbing a finger into Kyuhyun’s upper arm.

 

“I’m becoming annoyed with your repetitive questions,” Kyuhyun shot back, childishly jabbing the boy back.

 

“Then answer them properly!” Kibum jabbed him again, this time harder.

 

“I have!” Kyuhyun snarled in frustration.

 

“Kibum!” Hana called in a singsong tone, “come take a picture with me!”

 

Kyuhyun eagerly shoved the little boy off his seat, and prodded him towards the photo booth that Hana’s smiling face was poking out from. Kibum’s face lit with a smile that only Hana saw because, before he went into the booth, Kibum shot him a stubborn scowl that made Kyuhyun’s eyebrow twitch.

 

He and Kyuhyun were far too alike, it wasn’t even funny.

 

Kyuhyun relaxed as he listened to Hana and Kibum argue and banter playfully from the booth, watching the little flash as they took their picture together. He smiled at Hana declaring to make Kibum’s picture pretty and that he should do the same for her.

 

A few seconds later, and Kibum’s outraged yell had Kyuhyun sniggering into his hand.

 

Kyuhyun adored Hana, truly adored her. She was the only person who could get away with treating Kibum like that, or the way she bossed him around and he followed without complaint.

 

It just showed how much Kibum valued and cared for her that he doesn’t use his snark around her.

 

He just directed it at Kyuhyun instead.

 

Kyuhyun’s phone started to ring again, and Kyuhyun’s hand tightened around the phone at seeing the number from before calling him again.

 

He declined the call with a vicious stab and shoved it back into his jeans pocket.

 

Kyuhyun wasn’t interested in why that person was ringing him. They could wait, because Hana and Kibum were his main priorities at the moment, and nothing or nobody was going to derail their day together.

 

His phone bleeped with a text message, and Kyuhyun glared down at his pocket.

 

“If this is a message from...” Kyuhyun growled to himself as he got out his phone again to see who it was from.

 

 

_Is this Cho Kyuhyun’s number?_

_If not, I’m sorry for bothering you, but if it is, I just want to meet up._

 

 

“Kyuhyun!” Hana called him, head poking back out of the photo booth with flushed cheeks from laughing so much.

 

Kyuhyun exited the message quickly as he got off his seat. “Do you need more coins?” he asked her with a little smile as he shoved his phone back into his pocket.

 

She shook her head and grabbed his hand once he was close enough. “I want a picture with you!”

 

“Hana, I’m too big to fit in this. This is for children, not adults.” He reasoned with the little girl as she tried to tug him inside the children’s booth.

 

“Can we go to another one then?” she asked, eyes already scanning the arcade for another photo booth whilst Kyuhyun’s phone rang once again.

 

“I swear if it’s...” Kyuhyun growled as he yanked his phone back out, face clearing from irritation to surprise at seeing Donghae’s name flashing on his screen.

 

“Hello?” he answered, and hastily clamped a hand on Hana’s shoulder as she tried to race to another photo booth she’d seen due to Kibum helping her.

 

“Hana, I told you not to run off!” Kyuhyun scolded, forgetting who he was on the phone to, and only remembering at hearing his boyfriend’s amused laughter.

 

“She has a habit of doing that,” Donghae told him, and Kyuhyun’s mind agreed with him whilst his mouth kept his agreement silent. “I’m just ringing to say the shoot is done, so you can bring the kids to the studio now.”

 

Kyuhyun told him they’d be there soon and they hung up.

 

“Come on you two,” he announced as he waited for Kibum to finish printing the pictures, grabbed their hands and began to lead them out of the arcade. “Your parents want you back.”

 

“But I wanted a picture with you,” Hana softly complained, brown eyes pleading with him.

 

He glanced over at the photo booths, frowning at seeing the group noisy teenagers using them, and shook his head at her.

 

“Another time, okay?” he promised her, and she nodded, though her expression was sad.

 

Kyuhyun frowned, and gazed around them as they moved through the mall so that they could get to the car park.

 

“Oh!” Kyuhyun suddenly exclaimed and stopped in his tracks. “Shall we ask someone to use my phone so we can take a picture?” he asked her as he gestured to the person dressed a panda that was handing out leaflets to shoppers.

 

“Really?!” Hana asked him, eyes wide and smile big, and he grinned as he raced them to catch the panda.

 

Kibum looked angst at having his picture taken with a panda, but posed beside Kyuhyun once he and the panda had knelt down so that they were the kids’ height. Hana was perched sitting on his lap, fingers poised in a v as she smiled at the kind female who agreed to take their picture, her other hand was tightly holding the panda’s hand.

 

“Ready?” the female called, and Kyuhyun smiled as Hana whooped, “Yep!”

 

But once the picture had been taken, someone caught his eye from across the mall, standing frozen outside a lavish clothing store.

 

Kyuhyun couldn’t move from off the floor as they made eye contact. The male’s eyes wide with surprise as he held a phone to his ear.

 

“Uncle?” Kibum questioned when he remained kneeling.

 

Kyuhyun broke eye contact with the male just as his phone began to ring again, the female quickly handing his phone for him to answer.

 

A quick glance told him it was the number that has been trying to contact him for the past two hours, and he didn’t glance in that direction again as he declined the phone call and shoved his phone back into his pocket.

 

Holding Kibum’s and Hana’s hands again, Kyuhyun was all too aware of someone watching him as he tried not to hurry to get out of the mall that suddenly felt too small.

 

 

 

 

“Daddy!” Hana’s joyous scream echoed around the studio, and Donghae spun to see his daughter rushing to him with her arms wide open.

 

Donghae crouched and swept her into his arms once she ploughed into him, already struggling to understand her excited babbling about her trip to the mall.

 

“Slow down, sweetie.” He laughed as he propped her onto his hip, waving at Kibum as the little boy headed straight for his boss, Heechul, whom was looking over the photos from today’s shoot.

 

“Hello to you too,” Kibum’s mother teased from where she was packing her camera equipment, and Kibum sent her a distracted wave as he began a conversation with Heechul about the photos.

 

“Want to see our pictures?” Hana asked him, and he nodded as he moved to greet Kyuhyun who was coming over to him, expression tired, but happy.

 

“Pictures, please!” she cutely asked Kyuhyun who handed her the strip of photo booth pictures from his back pocket.

 

Donghae snorted at seeing the added effects that she and Kibum had placed onto their pictures, and he had a sneaky suspicion that his daughter was the sole perpetrator in making Kibum sparkle with big anime type eyes.

 

“Someone had fun,” he stated as he placed Hana back onto the floor so that she could show the pictures to Kibum’s mother.

 

“We did have fun,” Kyuhyun corrected him, and Donghae hummed as he drew the male into a hug, smiling when Kyuhyun wrapped his arms tightly around his shoulders.

 

Donghae liked being the smaller one instead of being a giant in the relationship.

 

“How did it go today?” Kyuhyun asked him and Donghae accidently yawned, which caused Kyuhyun to chuckle at seeing it.

 

“It was good. It was a short shoot, but it took too many late hours trying to keep everything on track.” Donghae sighed. “I’m looking forward to when I can get home and relax,” Donghae murmured as he comfortably rested his cheek against the middle of Kyuhyun’s chest, listening to his heartbeat.

 

“Point me to where you need help cleaning up,” Kyuhyun ordered as he drew away from Donghae who protested at the movement, and the order.

 

“You can help clean the floor, since we’ve finished with everything else,” Kyuhyun’s sister ordered as she walked past them, and Kyuhyun nodded and left Donghae to follow the female.

 

Donghae and Heechul did one last check to make sure they had all the clothes and accessories that were brought to shoot, and declared their work day finished.

 

He and Hana walked Heechul to his car, and when Heechul asked for a kiss and a hug goodbye, Hana shoved Donghae into her place, which then caused Heechul to playfully chase her until she couldn’t run any more due to laughing so much and he got what he wanted in the first place.

 

“Finished harassing my daughter?” Donghae called as the slender male carried Hana on his back, face scowling as Hana purposely messed up the male’s longish brown hair.

 

“You can have your brat back now that she’s ruined my hair.” Heechul turned around so that Hana could latch herself to Donghae, tongue sticking out at Heechul who did the same back.

 

“Love you, uncle Heechul!” Hana sweetly called as they watched the male get into his car, and he blew her a kiss before closing the car door.

 

Donghae heard Kyuhyun’s voice and turned to look up the steps to see the male coming down with his bag that he’d left inside.

 

“You didn’t have to bring that,” he told the male as Hana’s hands found their way into his hair and began to play with it.

 

“It saves you backtracking when you could be on your way home,” Kyuhyun told him with a little shrug.

 

Donghae smiled and led the way to his car. Once he had settled Hana into her seat, having a brief argument with her about attempting to plait his hair and causing knots instead, Donghae closed the door on his sniggering daughter, and turned to have a moment with his boyfriend.

 

“Are you coming over?” he curiously asked Kyuhyun as the male tugged him close.

 

“I thought you wanted to relax?” Kyuhyun questioned as he brushed Donghae’s bangs from out of his eyes.

 

“And I can’t do that with my boyfriend?” Donghae teased, smiling at the way Kyuhyun fought to keep his pleased grin off his face.

 

Donghae had grown to learn that every time he called Kyuhyun his boyfriend, the male would break out into a dopey, cute looking smile that filled Donghae with little shivers of happiness.

 

It still felt foreign on Donghae’s tongue to be calling someone his boyfriend, but he was becoming familiar with it, enjoying the reaction it brought from Kyuhyun.

 

“I’ll buy us three some dinner and meet you there?” Kyuhyun suggested, face coming close to Donghae’s, eyes dropping to Donghae’s lips.

 

Donghae’s stomach still flutters, his heart still continues to flip with anticipation every time he and Kyuhyun are about to kiss. It’s a reaction that Donghae hopes he doesn’t lose.

 

Donghae nodded, head rising to eagerly close the distance between their lips. Donghae could feel Kyuhyun’s lips were turned up into a smile as he initiated their kiss, and Donghae’s body suffered from a shudder of contentment as Kyuhyun’s hand angled his jaw so that he could lead the kiss instead.

 

A tiny, tickling flick from the tip of Kyuhyun’s tongue teased his bottom lip, and light the sensation was enough to invoke an answering tickle down his spine as Donghae’s hands latched themselves into the material of Kyuhyun’s top.

 

A tapping noise from behind the car window caused Donghae to come back to the present, his cheeks burning as he glanced to see Hana making a heart with her hands in front of her closed eyes.

 

“At least she stopped us in an adorable way,” Kyuhyun chuckled; fingers tapping back so that Hana would open her eyes to see that they weren’t kissing anymore.

 

“How long will you be?” Donghae tried to keep himself from sounding clingy as he opened the driver’s door, but judging from Kyuhyun’s amused stare, he’d failed.

 

“It’s nice to know that I’ll be missed,” the male teased him, and Donghae’s cheeks burned even hotter as he stuffed himself into his car, his mind failing with coming up with a smart retort.

 

Hana heard Kyuhyun’s words and resumed tapping on the window to get his attention, whilst Donghae closed his door, making sure the window was down all the way to let in some fresh air into the stuffy car.

 

“Of course I’ll miss you!” Hana told Kyuhyun, and Donghae glanced in the rear-view mirror to see her pouting.

 

“I think your daughter likes me more than you do.” Donghae jumped at Kyuhyun’s voice, turning to see that the male was poking his head slightly in through the open window.

 

 Donghae rolled his eyes and flicked the male’s nose. “I think you’re speaking nonsense.”

 

“Then show me how much you’ll miss me.” Kyuhyun smirked at him, eyes daring him.

 

The rush of desire that smacked into Donghae’s body wasn’t something new; he’d been experiencing these pangs of desire and lust for the male over the past month.

 

Donghae knew for a fine fact that Kyuhyun loved to tease him, relishing in the way that Donghae would blush because he was still new to all of this. He was certain that his boyfriend was enjoying his somewhat innocence to their relationship, and because of that innocence, it only made Kyuhyun tease him all the more.

 

Donghae pushed aside the thoughts that weren’t suitable for the time nor the place, and with Hana’s presence helping hugely with directing those thoughts away, Donghae gave Kyuhyun a parting kiss.

 

Hana playfully whined, “eww!” and while Kyuhyun smiled at her response, Donghae chose that moment to briefly deliver a sharp bite to Kyuhyun’s lip.

 

Kyuhyun’s gasp of shock had him smirking as he pushed the male’s head from out of his car, as his other gripped the steering wheel.

 

“See you in a little while!” he called sweetly as he began reversing out of his car space.

 

Kyuhyun delivered him a heated glare as a parting answer, and Donghae decided to leave the car window down for the remainder of the drive home in order to cool down his suddenly flushed body. 

 

 

 

 

Having Donghae curled up against him as they watched the music show that plays every Saturday night, and with Hana lying on the floor with her colouring pencils and pad of paper, Kyuhyun couldn’t feel any more content if he could try.

 

His relationship with Donghae was not only different because it was Donghae’s first relationship with a guy, but it was different in the sense that Kyuhyun actually feared losing Donghae and Hana.

 

In his past relationships, Kyuhyun has never experienced this fear in the back of his mind that he’d lose the person whom he was dating. Not even with the one that he used to love. Maybe that just shows that he never truly loved that person, which is a horrible thing to say, but Kyuhyun’s beginning to realise that maybe it’s the truth.

 

Kyuhyun glanced down at the male that was using part of his upper body as a cushion for his head, his hands playing with Kyuhyun’s on Kyuhyun’s lap.

 

In the past, Kyuhyun would’ve been freaking out about the possibility of falling in love with someone so quickly, declaring that it was too sudden, and there for it couldn’t be love.

 

But now, he knew that he loved Donghae. Kyuhyun hasn’t told the male this, knowing that it is too soon for Donghae, whom has just finished divorcing his wife, Hana’s mother. 

 

Kyuhyun wondered if the fear of losing Donghae was brought on by Donghae’s straight past. During the first few months of them becoming friends, Kyuhyun had never thought that the male would return his feelings that he hid from him, but after Donghae kissed him whilst being drunk and having Kyuhyun avoid him for a while – thinking that he’d just been an experiment for the male, Donghae forced them to speak, and Kyuhyun learned about Donghae’s feelings for him.

 

Ever since then, it’s felt surreal to Kyuhyun. He’s waiting for something to come along and change it. Kyuhyun hopes that nothing does, but his fear of losing Donghae isn’t going to leave him anytime soon.

 

Kyuhyun didn’t want to think about how his life would be if he couldn’t see Donghae or Hana every day. He didn’t want to imagine a life without these two people that have tightly woven their existence into his heart.

 

“You’re quiet tonight,” Donghae murmured softly, head tilting to look up at him.

 

 _That’s because I have you firmly in my mind_ , Kyuhyun thought as he pressed a light kiss to the male’s bangs that covered his forehead.

 

“Just remembering today’s events with your darling daughter,” he answered instead.

 

“She didn’t give you much trouble, did she?” Donghae asked, shifting position so that he was resting against Kyuhyun’s shoulder instead of his chest. “It was your first outing alone with her, so I don’t want you to be too put off if she did cause trouble.”

 

Kyuhyun’s stomach became heavy with dread and guilt, mind panicking whether or not to go through with his plan of not telling Donghae about losing Hana, or to tell him and face the argument that would no doubt follow it.

 

Hana glanced up from her picture, curious eyes boring into Kyuhyun as he fought this battle of right and wrong.

 

“Actually,” Kyuhyun hesitantly began, causing Hana’s eyes to widen in fear as he decided to do the right thing and tell Donghae, but the ringing of his phone drove his confession to a halt.

 

 “Sorry,” Kyuhyun hissed apologetically as he dug into his jeans pocket for his phone.

 

“Don’t be,” Donghae laughed at his apology and moved off him so that he had the room to move.

 

Kyuhyun didn’t think of checking who was calling, he just answered to quickly get whoever was ringing him to hang up.

 

“Kyuhyun?” a male’s voice asked, and it felt like someone had poured cold water down his spine as Kyuhyun scrambled to get off the sofa, his mind cursing him for his forgetfulness.

 

“Kyu?” Donghae called in concern as Kyuhyun moved.

 

“I’ll ring you back,” he tried not to snarl down the phone and hung up before the male could answer.

 

He spun to smile apologetically at his boyfriend. “Sorry, that was one of the lads from work; they’re asking me to have a look at this game.” He lied to Donghae with a bitter taste in his mouth, feeling like a dickhead as Donghae’s worry left his face, and rose to hug him goodbye.

 

“Don’t disappear this time,” the male joked, and Kyuhyun shook his head as he tightly squeezed the male, not wanting to leave him.

 

He said goodnight to Hana, kissing her on the head at her request, and Kyuhyun asked Donghae to walk him to the door as Hana ran to get changed for bed.

 

“Promise to ring me once in awhile so that I know you haven’t destroyed the game and hunting down its creator,” Donghae continued to joke, but Kyuhyun could hear the male’s request of using him to vent to over his work.

 

This made him feel even more of a dick about lying to Donghae, and as the male held the apartment door open for him with an affectionate expression that he didn’t deserve at the moment, Kyuhyun allowed himself to give Donghae a lingering goodbye kiss.

 

“For the record, I don’t like it when you’re this silent around me,” Donghae stated as Kyuhyun held him close, delivering little pecks to the male’s addictive mouth.

 

“Noted, but you’ll be wishing for this side of me to come back after awhile of being teased,” Kyuhyun answered, trying to wean himself away from his boyfriend, and finding it hard to do so with Donghae’s fingers tracing the back of his neck, causing little tickles to flare up from the male’s touch.

 

“No I won’t,” argued Donghae. “I enjoy it when you tease me,” the male whispered bluntly, causing Kyuhyun’s mind to forget the reason why he was meant to be leaving, and supplying him with the thoughts that didn’t match Donghae’s innocent tone.

 

“How can I leave now after you’ve said that?” Kyuhyun whined pitifully, choosing to take his wave of lust and frustration out on Donghae’s lips, which wasn’t his smartest idea, since it only caused Donghae to respond to him just as strongly.

 

Donghae’s teeth nipped at his lip, just like he had done earlier back at the studio, causing his whole body to react at the delicious sensation.

 

Kyuhyun had to force himself away from his boyfriend, not looking back as he stalked away from the temptation that was sniggering, albeit a little breathlessly, from behind him.

 

They had made a promise to go slow, and Kyuhyun was determined to stick to it.

 

 

 

 

In the privacy of his home, Kyuhyun was more than ready to settle with the nuisance that decide to invade his life today.

 

Throwing his car keys onto the breakfast bar, Kyuhyun opened his call history and rang the number that he liked to think he’d forgotten, but sadly hasn’t.

 

“Kyuhyun?” the male on the end of the call answered cautiously, and Kyuhyun rested his back against the breakfast bar, eyes locking on his reflection from the living room window straight across from him.

 

“Why are you calling me, Siwon?” Kyuhyun demanded, and Siwon sighed.

 

“I just want to meet and have a catch up,” Siwon’s voice was soft with his honesty, but it still didn’t lower Kyuhyun’s suspicion.

 

So he decided to be blunt with it. “It’s funny how you suddenly contacted me once an announcement went out in the mall that we were both in today, or is it a coincidence?” Kyuhyun remarked a little sarcastically, watching his reflection and seeing the defence posture, which he immediately corrected, hating himself for subconsciously doing it.

 

“It reminded me of you, yes, and then I wondered if you would like some help searching for ‘Hana’,” Siwon paused, and Kyuhyun knew what the male was going to ask next, “I’m gathering the little girl I saw with you today was Hana. But I thought your sister only had one child?” the male asked him.

 

“She does.” Kyuhyun replied shortly, and he could hear Siwon’s mind working over the phone as he put two and two together.

 

“Oh.” Siwon simply murmured and Kyuhyun glared at his reflection, shoving away the little, tiny flare of guilt at being like this towards his ex.

 

“I thought we were going to remain friends, Kyu?” Siwon asked him sadly, and Kyuhyun’s stomach turned at hearing the nickname.

 

“I never said that. It was you who suggested it when you finished me.” Kyuhyun stated a little bit angrily, old feelings of being hurt by the male were beginning to flare to life again.

 

“Can we just try?” Siwon pleaded, and Kyuhyun began to pace, needing the movement to keep him sane so that he didn’t scream down the phone.

 

“Those were the exact words you asked me when you wanted to start a relationship with me, and look how that turned out. So, no, Siwon. We can’t try.” Kyuhyun snapped, not even listening to Siwon’s flustered response as he hung up from him.

 

Kyuhyun breathed in and out deeply and slowly, needing to find control over his anger and past feelings of hurt.

 

Siwon had been his first love, so maybe that was why he was still so sore about the male breaking up with him, or maybe it was because of the reason why he broke up with Kyuhyun.

 

Kyuhyun’s phone began to ring with his message tone, and Kyuhyun flung it onto his sofa as he stormed to his bathroom.

 

As he stripped and stepped into the shower, Kyuhyun wished that he’d changed his number when he had the chance.

 

Kyuhyun had met Siwon through a friend, since both of them worked in business, and his friend suggested that he and Siwon meet, thinking that they’d get along. Kyuhyun reluctantly agreed to meet him, scowling at his friend’s attempt of playing match maker – again – and vowed to make the meeting as brief as he politely could.

 

But his plans changed once he met Siwon.

 

The male looked like a model rather than a businessman, he was ridiculously good looking, and he had the charm of a refined gentleman that caused Kyuhyun’s legs to turn to mush.

 

Choi Siwon charmed him on their first meeting, and once he received Kyuhyun’s number, he began to charm his way into taking Kyuhyun on fancy dates, despite Kyuhyun’s protesting.

 

Kyuhyun had past flings and only one short relationship with someone during college, so he was enjoying the way that Siwon treated and cared for him. Siwon wasn’t a boring person either, he was interested in Kyuhyun’s career and hobbies, and they had interests in common.

 

Kyuhyun was interested in taking their little dates further, but then he learned something about Siwon that made everything come crashing to a halt.

 

Siwon’s parents were very religious people, thus meaning that Siwon’s preference was being kept in the dark, which meant that Kyuhyun’s hopes of becoming something more in Siwon’s life were crushed.

 

Or so he thought.

 

Siwon confessed that what he felt for Kyuhyun was so much stronger than the little crushes he’s had on other men in the past. He confessed that while it’ll be hard because of the way he was brought up, Siwon wanted to start a relationship with Kyuhyun.

 

And Kyuhyun was an idiot to agree to it.

 

He admits that for the year that they’d been together, there were some fantastic times they shared, and he did love him.

 

It was just a shame that Siwon didn’t love him enough to fight to keep him.

 

On their one year anniversary, Kyuhyun’s first anniversary in his life, Siwon didn’t take him out to celebrate, nor did he accept Kyuhyun’s gift, which had been the wristwatch that the male had been lusting after for awhile.

 

Siwon chose to celebrate their anniversary by breaking up with him.

 

Kyuhyun was in a state of shock when Siwon calmly explained to him that his father had learned about their relationship, and that he wouldn’t tell Siwon’s mother, providing that Siwon finished with Kyuhyun. He also explained that he made a vow to never hurt his parents or deny them, and while it was hurting Siwon to do this, he couldn’t go against them.

 

Kyuhyun didn’t stop him when Siwon left his apartment, he couldn’t move from the hurt and humiliation that was assaulting him.

 

Kyuhyun slumped down against the shower wall, eyes closed with his head titled back under the hot spray of water.

 

It’s been a year and half since that day, but while it had been his first love, Kyuhyun had been too angry to be that caught up on the break up. So Kyuhyun pushed the hurt away, and focused on making a new routine that didn’t involve Choi Siwon.

 

In time, he stopped being angry and forgot about the male.

 

That is until today when he saw the male’s number.

 

Now that he’d calmed down, Kyuhyun agreed that he was just bitter about the male’s reason of breaking up with him. He pitied Siwon in a way. The male was living in his own place in a completely different city to where his parents lived, but he still lived under his parents rules.

 

Kyuhyun can remember how Siwon looked whenever someone mentioned his parents and his religious background, it looked like the male was slowly suffocating from the pressure of the way his parents wanted him to be, and who he actually was.

 

Did Siwon finally break free?

 

“Am I really going to do this?” Kyuhyun asked himself, toying with the idea of allowing Siwon back into his life, even if it was just for an hour.

 

He didn’t feel anything romantically towards the male, Kyuhyun was sure of that. He was just worried how to explain meeting up with his ex to Donghae.

 

He didn’t want Donghae to become paranoid that he’d cheat on him like his wife had done, because if the roles were switched and it was Donghae telling him that he was meeting with an ex, Kyuhyun would get a tiny bit paranoid.

 

Kibum’s words from earlier crept into his mind, and he dropped his head onto his knees, allowing the water to cascade down his spine.

 

“I’ve already lied to him about the phone call, would it hurt to just lie a little more in order to keep this away from him?” Kyuhyun whispered to himself, a battle of right and wrong raging inside his mind once again.

 

After his shower, Kyuhyun dried and dressed into his old, but comfy sweats he wore for bed, and went to see who had sent him the message from earlier.

 

He was developing a slight ache in his temples from the amount of arguing he was having with himself, and as he opened the message, it only intensified into a throb.

 

A picture of Hana smiling cutely whilst wearing her pink, Hello Kitty pyjamas with her hands holding a sheet of paper with Donghae’s handwriting saying: ‘Don’t work too hard!’ on it.

 

Underneath the picture was Donghae’s text message.

 

_This was Hana’s idea so that you could look at her and gain energy, since you always tell her that her smile gives people energy._

_Remember that you can always call or text me to vent to if things are going difficult!_

 

“I’m such a shit boyfriend. I don’t deserve you two.” Kyuhyun weakly stated as he saved the picture to his phone.

 

Flopping onto his sofa, Kyuhyun continued to debate what the hell he was going to do.

 

Twenty minutes later of sitting in silence, Kyuhyun watched as his phone told him that his message had been sent.

 

Regret immediately followed, and as a quick reply came through, Kyuhyun felt all the more guilty at reading Siwon’s short reply.

 

_I promise that it’s strictly a meet up as friends and nothing more._

 

Kyuhyun sent him a meeting place and a time, and dragged his pathetic ass to bed. As he lay in his bed, mind and emotions refusing to die down, Kyuhyun flicked through his pictures on his phone, wishing that nothing bad was going to happen because of what he’s agreed to do.

 

 

 

 

The random park that Kyuhyun had arranged for them to meet in was in a neighbourhood that he rarely visited, and it was relatively quiet for it being midday, which isn’t what Kyuhyun had been expecting.

 

Kyuhyun hadn’t wanted to meet in a cafe or something of that nature. He wanted this meeting to be in the open and casual, giving him the perfect chance to escape if he couldn’t handle the guilt anymore.

 

From where he was sitting, Kyuhyun could see the park’s entrance, keeping an eye out for the male whom he saw yesterday in the mall. Kyuhyun was early, their meeting time still ten minutes away, but Kyuhyun didn’t mind, he liked the quiet, and the weather was decent.

 

Five minutes later, and he saw Siwon coming through the entrance from the corner of his eye.

 

Steeling himself, Kyuhyun continued to watch the pretty water fountain, keeping track of Siwon’s approach from his side vision.

 

“You’re still an early person,” Siwon neutrally commented once he was close, and Kyuhyun nodded, pulling his eyes away to look at the male properly as he sat on the other end of the bench Kyuhyun chose to sit at.

 

“And you’re not in a stuffy suit,” Kyuhyun commented in surprise, noticing the casual attire the male was wearing.

 

Siwon laughed softly. “A lot has changed since we last saw each other.”

 

“We saw each other yesterday,” Kyuhyun automatically retorted.

 

Siwon gave him an amused look. “You’re still quick witted and snarky.”

 

Kyuhyun scoffed. “I wasn’t being snarky, you’d know if I was,” he assured him.

 

“You had a hint of it,” Siwon argued as he relaxed against the wooden seat, which further highlighted how stiff Kyuhyun was sitting.

 

“And you’re still persistent,” Kyuhyun shot back, ignoring Siwon’s gesture to relax.

 

He got a flat look at remaining the way he was sitting. “That’s not an exactly comfortable way to be sitting, Kyu.” The male chastised him.

 

“Don’t call me Kyu.” Kyuhyun swallowed back the snarl as he spoke. “Then it shows just how uncomfortable I am speaking to you, doesn’t it?”

 

Siwon flinched at that, and Kyuhyun glanced back to the water fountain to escape the look that was currently on Siwon’s face.

 

“I didn’t ask for this meeting for us to bicker, I just want to know how you’ve been doing,” Siwon told him softly, and Kyuhyun held back his snort.

 

“I’ve been grand. How about to you?” he asked dryly, still not looking at the male.

 

“I came out to my parents.”

 

Kyuhyun’s head snapped to gape at the male in shock.

 

“What?” he dumbly asked and Siwon smirked at him with a smug glint in his eyes.

 

“I told my parents that I was gay, and refused to listen to their pleas of me seeing a shrink or getting help from the church,” Siwon explained, his tone sounding uncharacteristically harsh which further surprised Kyuhyun. “I left my father’s company and started being a freelance photographer.”

 

Kyuhyun thought back to the male’s hobby and passion of photography, remembering the male pester him to have his photo taken, and smiled genuinely at the male who looked at ease with his life now.

 

“And they just allowed you to do that?” Kyuhyun questioned.

 

“My father did. He hasn’t spoken to me for over a year now. But my mother tries to make it seem like I’m going through a phase, which I counter that if it was, I’d been living the last eight years in a ‘phase’.” Siwon sent him a smile, and Kyuhyun nodded in understanding, still a little shocked from how much Siwon’s life had changed.

 

By going against his parents, it meant that Siwon left his father’s company – which he had been due to inherit in a few years when his father stepped down – he was following his original dream of being a photographer, but unable to follow it through due to his duty of learning about his father’s company.

 

Siwon was no longer suffocating under pressure of being the perfect son. He was being himself now.

 

Kyuhyun’s pity vanished and was replaced with respect. He knew how hard it must have been for the male during the months after coming out to his parents.

 

“What finally drove you to doing it?” Kyuhyun curiously asked him, shuffling a little to get comfortable.

 

“You drove me to it.”

 

Kyuhyun’s stomach dropped with dread, eyes boring into Siwon’s brown, honest eyes.

 

“Don’t say that.” Kyuhyun whispered pleadingly.

 

“It’s the truth.” Siwon did look apologetic, which lessoned some of the dread in Kyuhyun’s stomach, “but I am sorry, you know.” Siwon commented gently as he watched Kyuhyun.

 

Kyuhyun stiffened with unease. “It’s in the past, you’ve learnt from it, and so have I.” Kyuhyun stated. It felt like something was trying to choke Kyuhyun as he firmly spoke the words.

 

“Then why can’t we try to be friends?” Siwon promptly argued, and Kyuhyun could’ve kicked himself for allowing the male an opening to argue this topic further.

 

“It feels too weird, that’s why.” Kyuhyun honestly told him. “And too sudden,” he added.

 

“If we go slow, meet up once in awhile, exchange phone calls, then it won’t feel so weird or sudden.” Siwon continued to persist, and Kyuhyun continued to remain unmoving.

 

“I’m happy for you that you’re living your own life now, but please don’t try to force this into mine.” Kyuhyun sighed, eyes pleading for Siwon to stop it.

 

Siwon looked hurt, and Kyuhyun bit his lip at seeing the expression on the male’s face.

 

“You haven’t forgiven me, have you?” Siwon uttered softly, eyes reading him, and Kyuhyun’s heart leapt at how close the male’s words came to uncovering something that Kyuhyun didn’t even want to admit to himself.

 

Kyuhyun didn’t answer the question, he just stood to leave. “Don’t contact me again, Siwon. You have no reason too.” Kyuhyun ordered as he moved to leave, feet scrambling backwards when Siwon rushed to stop him.

 

“I’ve apologised!” Siwon exclaimed as Kyuhyun shoved the hands away that tried to reach out to him. “I’ve told you that you’re the reason why my life is so great now. What can I do to make it right for how I unfairly broke up with you?” Siwon begged him.

 

“Just do as I’ve asked!” Kyuhyun cried out, not liking the way the situation had unravelled so fast, nor did he like how vulnerable his voice was sounding as he fought off Siwon’s efforts to calm him.

 

“Kyuhyun?” came a puzzled calling of his name and Kyuhyun spun to look behind him, heart plummeting at seeing Donghae’s boss, Heechul, standing behind him.

 

As Kyuhyun’s mind completely left him, Heechul’s expression darkened, and he started marching towards Kyuhyun.

 

“You better not be doing what it looks like you’re doing,” Heechul seethed, anger blazing in his eyes as Kyuhyun scrambled to get away from the angry male, becoming flustered at touching Siwon’s chest with his back as the male gripped his arms to stop him from moving backwards.

 

“I’m not!” Kyuhyun promised, shrugging off Siwon’s hands and stepping away from him.

 

“So who the fuck is he?!” Heechul demanded, hands gripping Kyuhyun’s jacket, causing Kyuhyun to flinch away from the male’s anger, and also because it was the first time he’s heard the male curse with such fury behind it.

 

“I’m just an old friend of Kyuhyun’s,” Siwon hastily answered before Kyuhyun could.

 

“I’m sure you are,” Heechul snarled knowingly as he roughly let go of Kyuhyun, and the look he shot towards Kyuhyun made him feel an inch high.

 

“We were just having a friendly-” Siwon stressed the word so that Heechul would understand, “-catch up. I swear.”

 

Kyuhyun flinched when Heechul suddenly held his hand out. “Give me your business card,” he ordered, and Siwon hastily pulled one from out of his wallet to give to him.

 

“Now take your leave, Choi Siwon.” Heechul further ordered after glimpsing at Siwon’s card, eyes daring for any of them to argue against him.

 

Not that Kyuhyun would have, since he’d been trying to leave in the first place.

 

“See you around, Kyuhyun.” Siwon told him as he bowed goodbye, and Kyuhyun watched as the male unwillingly turned and left them, his long legs taking him away quickly.

 

A painful poke to his chest had Kyuhyun wincing as Heechul walked away from him with his order to follow him ringing in his ears.

 

 

 

 

Kyuhyun’s posture was rigid as he stood in front of the male’s sofa, Heechul’s gaze burning him from where he sat in front of him.

 

As it turned out, Heechul lived in this neighbourhood and was on his way out to the shop to pick up something for lunch when he caught sight of Kyuhyun in the park and decided to investigate.

 

Of all the parks that Kyuhyun could’ve chosen to meet Siwon, trust him to unknowingly choose the one that his boyfriend’s boss/close friend lived near.

 

“Let’s be blunt about this now, shall we?” Heechul suggested, his eyes still burning Kyuhyun as he stiffly nodded his head.

 

Who knew that the fashion designer had a temper like this?

 

“He’s your ex, isn’t he?” Heechul cut straight to chase. “He gives off that feeling, so don’t bother trying to lie.”

 

Kyuhyun nodded, tensing briefly at the way Heechul’s jaw clenched.

 

“You little-” Heechul rose of the sofa, eyes enraged as he came towards Kyuhyun.

 

“I’m not cheating on Donghae, Heechul.” Kyuhyun promised, refusing to back away from the male’s approach, gaze locking to make the male see he was being truthful.

 

“Does Donghae know that you’re meeting him?” Heechul demanded, and Kyuhyun sighed and shook his head.

 

Kyuhyun gasped in surprise, head flying to the side, his cheek stinging from the sudden backhanded slap that the male had just given him.

 

“You’ve lied to him, you may as well just cheat since it’s clear you don’t care for him the way you’ve claimed to do.” Heechul whispered, his anger causing his voice to be thick with it.

 

“I lied to protect him,” Kyuhyun told him as he ignored the pain in his cheek to face the male again. “I needed to warn Siwon off, but if I told Donghae that my ex had gotten into contact with me, he’d only think the worse, just like you’ve done.”

 

“No. You lied because you’re a coward.” Heechul spat.

 

Kyuhyun paused, his words dying on his tongue as Heechul’s words rang through his mind.

 

Was he a coward?

 

He only lied to make sure that Donghae wouldn’t be hurt, but did he also lie so that there wasn’t a risk of them splitting up because of it? Has his selfish wants and needs turned him into a coward that hides things from the two people who he’s terrified of losing?

 

Was his fear of losing Donghae and Hana the reason why he chose to become a coward?

 

Was he also a coward to accept Siwon’s apology and forgive him?

 

Maybe he was.

 

Heechul’s hand softly touched his cheek, startling Kyuhyun from his thoughts.

 

“Are you crying?” Heechul asked him with a confused frown.

 

Kyuhyun felt his cheeks and jerked his face away from his wet fingertips as he felt heat burn his cheeks with embarrassment.

 

“No.” He told him, wiping his cheeks his hands roughly. “You need to dust more often,” he snapped.

 

Heechul’s gaze was free from anger now, and as the confusion slipped away from his eyes, a sharp awareness slipped through.

 

“I’m not sorry for slapping you,” the male firmly told him, and Kyuhyun stared uncertainty at the male’s change, “but you should do the right thing and tell Donghae.”

 

“I know.”

 

“It’s okay to be a coward sometimes, but this isn’t one of them. Donghae and Hana need honesty, not to be lied to because you’re scared of their reaction.” Heechul softly lectured him.

 

“I’m just scared to lose them,” Kyuhyun admitted, and it helped to speak his fear out loud.

 

“By continuing to lie to them, you will. But if you’re truthful to them now before it goes any further, Donghae will listen to you. He may be hurt that you decided to lie to him in the first place - and you can’t blame him for that - but he deserves honesty, especially when he’s made this change to be with you.”

 

Kyuhyun nodded in agreement.

 

Donghae truly deserved better than him. He just hoped that Donghae was willing to forgive him for his silly mistake.

 

 

 

 

Donghae stared at his boyfriend in surprise. “I thought you were working?” he asked him and waved for the younger male to come inside.

 

Kyuhyun’s expression turned apologetic as he closed the door behind him, and Donghae frowned as the male refused to come any further into his home.

 

“You can come in you know.” Donghae slowly told the male, not liking the way the male was acting towards him.

 

“We need to talk.” Kyuhyun softly told him, and those four words sent Donghae’s heart and stomach crashing.

 

“About?” Donghae warily asked as he shoved his shaking hands into his jeans pocket to hide how scared Kyuhyun’s words had made him.

 

Donghae prayed that the male wasn’t tired of him. He prayed that he wasn’t about to hear Kyuhyun breaking up with him.

 

“I’m terrified of losing you and Hana,” Kyuhyun suddenly blurted out, surprising Donghae by his sudden admission, “and I’m terrified that I will once I tell you what I’ve come to say to you.”

 

“Now you’re making me terrified.” Donghae told him, refusing to acknowledge the thoughts of fear that were crashing through his mind.

 

Kyuhyun moved as if he was going to step towards Donghae, but stopped himself from doing so, further making Donghae fear the worst as he watched his boyfriend’s brown eyes become more distressed.

 

As the silence became tense due to Kyuhyun’s lapse in trying to find the right words to say whatever he had to Donghae, Donghae closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

 

“Have you cheated on me?” He whispered, the words just barely being formed due to tightness in his throat as anxiety began to grip him.

 

Donghae gasped at feeling Kyuhyun’s hands grip his face tightly, eyes flying open to see the male’s horrified expression as he furiously shook his head.

 

“I would never do that, Donghae.” Kyuhyun promised him fiercely.

 

“Then just tell me, because right now, I’m thinking the worst!” Donghae pleaded, hands trapping Kyuhyun’s hands to continue holding him.

 

“I lied to you,” Kyuhyun whispered, the male’s guilt and fear saturating every word as Donghae stared at Kyuhyun.

 

“Lied to me?” Donghae echoed softly, and Kyuhyun’s grip on him tightened as he took in a ragged breath. Donghae could feel the tremors underneath his hands that were still holding Kyuhyun’s shaking hands.

 

“Honesty is needed for a relationship to work, but I broke that yesterday when I lied about who called me.” Kyuhyun slowly began to tell Donghae, whom just continued to stare at the male that looked close to tears.

 

“It wasn’t work, but Siwon who rang me.” Kyuhyun admitted, and Donghae’s mind immediately reminded him just who Siwon was.

 

“Isn’t he your ex?” Donghae asked despite knowing that he was, and Kyuhyun nodded. “Your ex rang you, and you immediately dropped me to meet him?” Donghae questioned, his tone was forceful as he dropped his hands from Kyuhyun’s.

 

“He spotted me at the mall with Hana and Kibum, and he’d been ringing me all afternoon with me ignoring him.” Kyuhyun hurriedly explained, keeping Donghae still when he tried to back out of his grasp. “I needed to see why he was suddenly contacting me and for him to stop it.”

 

“So you met with him then?” Donghae pushed, hands clenching at his sides as jealousy began to grow inside of him.

 

“No, we only spoke briefly last night... but I did meet with him today.” Kyuhyun hesitantly revealed, and Donghae took a deep inhale through his nose as he glanced away from Kyuhyun’s eyes that were pleading with him to understand.

 

“Sounds cosy,” Donghae snapped, refusing to look at his boyfriend despite the male urging him to.

 

“Donghae, please,” Kyuhyun begged softly, mistaking his spat of jealousy as anger. “We only spoke for five minutes before-” Kyuhyun cut himself off and Donghae locked his gaze back to him for it.

 

“Before what, Kyuhyun?” Donghae hissed.

 

“I was already leaving, but Siwon was trying to get me to stay and talk some more,” Kyuhyun explained, his eyes sincere enough for Donghae to know that the male was being truthful, “but Heechul saw us and jumped to the wrong conclusion that I was cheating on you.”

 

Donghae felt heat rise to his cheeks and he shoved at Kyuhyun chest, breaking the male’s hold on his face. “You better not be telling me that my boss is the reason why you’re here telling me this.” Donghae spat, and from the way Kyuhyun hesitated, Donghae’s anger grew.

 

“Get out,” he snapped as he spun to get away from the male.

 

Kyuhyun grabbed his arm and spun him to face him again, eyes desperate as his grip on Donghae. “I did plan on telling you at some point. I only lied because I feared this would cause you to think I’d cheat on you with him.”

 

“So you thought that lying would ease my fear of it?!” Donghae yelled with anger and hurt fuelling him as he yanked his arm free. “If you just spoke to me, you would have learnt that I would’ve been reasonable about it, but considering that you didn’t, how am I supposed to trust you now?”

 

“I know what I did was wrong, but it was just a little lie,” Kyuhyun weakly argued, eyes filling up as Donghae refused to accept his touch.

 

“You were willing to lie in order to keep something in the dark that wouldn’t have been as big as deal as it is now. You were willing to put lies into our relationship when you really didn’t need too. You were willing to lie to me, knowing how much that it will hurt me because of my past relationship.” Donghae’s voice wavered at the end as tears of angst and anger broke free from his eyes.

 

“You said that you feared losing me and Hana,” Donghae repeated the male’s words from a while ago, and Kyuhyun’s desperately shook his head as he picked up the direction that Donghae was heading in, fear and anguish staring back at Donghae through the male’s watery eyes as Donghae continued to speak.

 

“You’re facing it,” Donghae choked out and Kyuhyun began to cry from his words, a detached feeling washed over Donghae as he moved past the weeping male to open his front door.

 

“Donghae, please, not this,” Kyuhyun begged, hands trying to push the door shut. “I’ll do anything. I’ll give you space, some time alone to think. I’ll do anything to regain the trust that you’ve lost in me. But please don’t end this,” he continued to beg.

 

 “Daddy?”

 

Donghae’s heart jumped up into his throat at Hana’s confused call, and they both glanced to see the little girl hugging her drawing pad to her chest as she stared at them with wide eyes.

 

“Why are you both crying?” she asked as she came towards them, and Donghae wiped his face clear of tears as Kyuhyun turned away from her to compose himself as Donghae moved to stop her from coming closer.

 

“We’re just saying goodbye, sweetie.” He told her thickly, as he propped her onto his hip, tears pricking his eyes at seeing Kyuhyun flinch and shoulders slump at his answer.

 

“But you usually kiss each other when you say bye,” Hana stated, eyes confused but also suspicious as she alternated between watching them.

 

“Can I say goodbye to her?” he heard Kyuhyun mutter with his back facing them, shielding his emotions from Hana and Donghae.

 

Just that little question sent his tears down his cheeks again, startling Hana as she wiped them away with her free hand that wasn’t clutching her drawing pad to her chest.

 

If he says no, all three of them will break, but if he says yes, then it’s not fair on his daughter who won’t understand why she won’t see Kyuhyun again.

 

The thought of not seeing Kyuhyun again would not only upset his daughter, but it was already starting to hurt Donghae.

 

Was he really going to throw this away? Right now, he wanted to. He was angry and hurt by Kyuhyun’s lie, his emotions and thoughts were chaotic because of it. But would he still feel the same once he calm down and processed the situation? 

 

“You can,” he told the male, looking away as the male turned to hurry towards them.

 

“I drew you another picture!” Hana told Kyuhyun excitedly, her task of wiping Donghae’s tears away forgotten as Kyuhyun placed a kiss to her forehead.

 

Donghae turned his face to watch them slightly as Hana dumped the drawing pad into Kyuhyun’s hands as she flicked to the page of her drawing.

 

It was only a stick man figure with a drawing that Donghae assumed was a computer next to the figure, and a huge heart hovering near the two with her name scribbled in it.

 

“I was going to write daddy’s name,” she told them as she plucked it free from the pad, “but the red crayon fell under the sofa, so I just left my heart with you.”

 

It wasn’t just Kyuhyun who reacted to her innocent explanation, but Donghae too. They both flinched and glanced at each other; the regret was mutual on both of their faces.

 

Kyuhyun accepted her picture and gave her another kiss on her forehead, which made her giggle from Kyuhyun’s affection.

 

“Be good for your dad,” Kyuhyun softly told her as he moved to leave them.

 

“I’m always good,” she smiled, and asked for Donghae to put her down.

 

“You two can kiss now!” she teased as she ran away from them, leaving them alone in the entrance of the apartment.

 

“She forgot her drawing pad,” Kyuhyun weakly laughed, despite the look of adoration and sadness gracing his face.

 

Donghae swallowed, unable to think or speak as Kyuhyun handed him the pad. “I’ll go now,” Kyuhyun whispered, and Donghae latched a hand onto the male before he could let go of the pad.

 

“I’m in no fit state to make a decision now, but give me a few days,” he told Kyuhyun whose eyes widened with hope at his words, and he nodded frantically, his free hand squeezing Donghae’s gratefully.

 

“I’ll do anything, Hae.” Kyuhyun promised, and Donghae believed that he would, but he just nodded and slipped free from Kyuhyun.

 

Donghae was silent as he watched Kyuhyun leave his apartment; the sound of the front door locking shut was lost to the sound of his thoughts about what he was going to do.

 

 

 

 

Eunhyuk felt like his frown was going to embed itself into his forehead, since that’s all he’d done from the moment Donghae turned up on his doorstep.

 

Hana presence was absent, and Donghae informed him that he’d asked Yeon Hee to watch her for a few hours, that alone sent alarm bells ringing, but add the helpless look in his friend’s eyes, and Eunhyuk was demanding to know what was wrong.

 

Donghae vaguely told him that he may be breaking up with Kyuhyun, and explained to Eunhyuk why. As Eunhyuk listened, he shoved away the need to slap Kyuhyun for his idiocy, and paid attention to what Donghae was missing due to the current emotional state he was in.

 

Eunhyuk could see and understand why Kyuhyun lied; he could also understand why Donghae felt so hurt because of it.

 

Eunhyuk just didn’t know what to say or do to help his friend make a decision.

 

The facts were clear. Kyuhyun never meant to hurt Donghae. Kyuhyun wasn’t lying about something major – just about meeting an ex – so that he wouldn’t harm Donghae, but because of the way Yeon Hee treated Donghae towards the end of their marriage with her lies and deceit, it only ended up hurting him rather than protecting him.

 

Kyuhyun made the wrong decision, and now their relationship was in danger due to that and Donghae’s own fear brought on by his relationship with Yeon Hee.

 

Eunhyuk needed to make Donghae see that they could work past this, make him understand that Kyuhyun lie wasn’t to hurt him, just to protect him, and that he can’t keep putting his fear from his marriage into this relationship, because if he continues to do so, it won’t help either of them.

 

“You can’t live life without telling a lie, Donghae,” Eunhyuk sighed as he watched the male hug his knees to himself from where they were sitting on his sofa with Choco lying asleep on Eunhyuk’s lap.

 

“I know that.” Donghae mumbled.

 

“Then you know that it’s okay to use white lies in a relationship when they’re needed.” Eunhyuk reasoned.

 

“But his lie wasn’t needed,” Donghae argued, tone frustrated. 

 

“He felt that it was needed because he didn’t want to upset you.” Eunhyuk stressed, close to shaking the male since this was his third time trying to get this into Donghae’s head.

 

“I’ve already decided to forgive him for lying, Eunhyuk.” Donghae admitted softly, causing Eunhyuk to slap the male lightly on the head for keeping that to himself.

 

“Then why are you still like this?” Eunhyuk demanded, completely lost now since Donghae claimed to have forgiven Kyuhyun.

 

Donghae shrugged his shoulders a little. “I dunno.”

 

Eunhyuk hit Donghae again. “Liar, I can see it in your face that you know, so tell me.”

 

“Before he told me about Heechul knowing about his meeting with Siwon, I wasn’t as angry about him lying, I was mainly jealous.” Donghae revealed with his cheeks turning red as he stared down at his knees.

 

Eunhyuk stared at him blankly. “You’re making no sense.”

 

“I only got angry and hurt when it was clear that he wouldn’t tell me about the meeting until later in the future.” Donghae added, and Eunhyuk felt his frown return.

 

“What were you jealous about?” Eunhyuk questioned whilst rubbing at his forehead, and Donghae bit his lip before responding hesitantly.

 

“Kyuhyun loved Siwon,” he muttered. “A part of me was jealous and a little worried that he’d still harbour something for the male, and by meeting it would flicker to life again.”

 

“Then you got angry and hurt when Heechul was mentioned and what came after that,” Eunhyuk slowly imputed, and Donghae nodded. “So this is what’s stopping you from making a clear decision, and not Kyuhyun’s lying?” Eunhyuk questioned, mind working to make sense of how his friend’s mind was currently working.

 

Donghae nodded again, expression thoughtful. “There’s got to be a reason why Siwon sought out Kyuhyun now, when he hasn’t bothered during the time that I’ve known Kyuhyun.”

 

“Why not ask him?” Eunhyuk suggested the obvious.

 

“Ask Siwon?” Donghae spluttered in shock and Eunhyuk rolled his eyes at him as he picked up Choco and moved off the sofa.

 

“I meant your boyfriend, idiot.” He called over his shoulder as he left his friend alone in the living room.

 

He waited in the kitchen, listening for the sound of Donghae taking his advice, and smiling when he heard the male curse him tenderly under his breath as he got off the sofa and moved to leave his apartment.

 

The click of his front door shutting allowed him to let out his relieved sigh, and he cuddled the little dog closer to him.

 

“They’ll be fine,” he told her confidently.

 

His phone vibrated on the kitchen counter, and as he looked to see who had messaged him, he smiled at seeing the message from Donghae.

 

_I can always count on you to help me._

_Thank you, Eunhyuk._

 

 

 

 

It felt like he was experiencing déjà vu as he stood outside Kyuhyun’s apartment door.

 

Just a month ago he was standing outside this door, anxious and hopeful that by the time the night finished, he and Kyuhyun would be a couple.

 

Now though, he was anxious to keep them as a couple.

 

As Kyuhyun opened the door, Donghae’s stomach kicked up the fluttering another notch until it began to make him feel nauseous.

 

“Hey,” Kyuhyun tentatively greeted him, hands gripping the door tightly.

 

“Can I come in?” Donghae politely asked, and Kyuhyun shuffled out of the way so that he could come in.

 

Donghae swallowed the sense of comfort at being near Kyuhyun again after not seeing him for the past couple of days. Being in his home only intensified his feeling of longing and anxiety.

 

Kyuhyun led the way to the living room, Donghae silently following him. He didn’t like seeing the way that Kyuhyun was looking. The male’s complexion wasn’t great, as if he hadn’t slept for awhile. The state of the living room was messy, further showing just how their situation was affecting Kyuhyun’s usual sense of control and neat order.

 

“Would like something to drink?” Kyuhyun asked him, the sense of stiff formality was heavy between them.

 

Donghae declined. He hated this atmosphere between them.

 

Kyuhyun awkwardly sat down on the sofa, and Donghae sighed as he sat beside him, causing Kyuhyun to stiffen.

 

“This atmosphere is horrible,” Donghae complained softly as he grasped the male’s hands.

 

“Donghae,” Kyuhyun whispered his name, and Donghae swallowed hard at the distress he heard in it.

 

“I’ve forgiven you for lying to me,” Donghae told him, lips twitching at the way Kyuhyun’s breathing hitched and exhaled with relief.

 

“I’ll be nothing but truthful to you from now on,” Kyuhyun promised.

 

“Little white lies are okay,” Donghae muttered without much thought as he continued to stare down at their hands, his free hand tracing over the back of Kyuhyun’s hand. “Little white lies such as: you love my new shirt, but you think that it doesn’t suit me, but you can see how much I like it so you lie to keep me happy,” Donghae rambled slightly.

 

“Okay,” Kyuhyun chuckled a little.

 

“I have something I want to know,” Donghae announced, the lift in their atmosphere dropping at his words as he felt Kyuhyun tense.

 

“Go ahead.”

 

“What was Siwon’s reason for contacting you now?” He asked him, looking up from their hands to watch Kyuhyun’s face.

 

“To see if we could become friends,” Kyuhyun answered without a second thought, and Donghae caught the hint of something in the male’s voice.

 

“And what was your response?” he cautiously asked.

 

“My response was no.”

 

Donghae frowned in confusion, caught off guard by the bitterness that was briefly showed in Kyuhyun’s face.

 

“During the time that we’ve known each other, you never really spoke about your relationship with Siwon.” Donghae voiced his curious thought, and Kyuhyun shrugged his shoulders slightly.

 

“What’s the point in discussing something that’s in the past?” Kyuhyun questioned.

 

“I think now is a good opportunity for you to discuss this with me, since your past as crept into our life.” Donghae suggested gently.

 

“My relationship with Siwon was hard at times,” Kyuhyun sighed as he began to share this part of his life, turning his hand so that he can slowly intertwine their fingers. “It was hard because Siwon’s lifestyle wasn’t truly how he wished to live. You see, his parents are very religious, so they aren’t very accepting towards people who are attracted to the same gender as themselves, which meant that their own son was forced to hide his sexuality.”

 

Donghae remained silent, unsure if Kyuhyun would appreciate the way he felt towards both him and Siwon. To hide apart of yourself from your own parents was just wrong, parents should be accepting, regardless of their son or daughters choices.  The male must have been constantly carrying a heavy weight of pressure on his shoulders throughout his life.

 

“Siwon was careful to keep our relationship hidden from those who circulated around his parents, but somehow his father caught wind of it.” Kyuhyun paused, and Donghae glanced to read the male’s expression, saw the repressed hurt and knew what must’ve happened next.

 

“He gave Siwon a choice: remain with me and lose his family, or keep his family and lose me instead.” Kyuhyun met his eyes and smiled tightly. “You can see which one he took.”

 

“Kyuhyun,” Donghae began gently and Kyuhyun shook his head, the repressed hurt vanishing to show nothing but determination.

 

“I knew the risk of falling in love with Siwon would only result in heartbreak sooner or later, because at the time, Siwon was too scared to ruin his role as the perfect son for his parents. It made it just a little easier to move on, but it still hurt because a part of me hoped that I’d be the one to change it. It also hurt and slightly angered me because he broke up with me on my first ever one year anniversary,” Kyuhyun chuckled lightly trying to ease the mood, but now that Donghae was concentrating on what lay behind the male’s words, he still saw the shadow of pain.

 

“Siwon taught me my first dose of heartache, and in turn – according to what he told me when I met up with him, I was the one to help him make a decision that has changed his life.”

 

Donghae had a vague idea, and Kyuhyun confirmed it by telling him that Siwon had revealed to his parents about his sexuality, and from there, he left his father’s company, and started living his life the way he wanted. Donghae was happy for the male; he really was, but that niggling in the back of his mind began to make itself more known as Kyuhyun discussed his meeting with Siwon.

 

If Donghae was Siwon, would he chase Kyuhyun – the person who finally made me see by losing him that the way I’d been living under my parents rule was wrong – just for the sake of friendship, or was there still hope to rekindle what they had for each other?

 

According to Kyuhyun, he felt that Siwon just wanted to be a part of his life again as friends, but as he hesitantly admitted to Donghae; he hasn’t really allowed himself to forgive the male.

 

“What’s stopping you?” Donghae asked him, his jealousy firmly gone now as he began to unearth Kyuhyun’s reason for refusing Siwon’s friendship.

 

“Because if I forgive him, that means I have nothing left to hold him away from me,” Kyuhyun whispered, and Donghae could see how hard it was for Kyuhyun to admit it out loud.

 

“You’re scared of being hurt by him again, aren’t you?” Donghae stated rather than asked, because it was clear by his boyfriend’s stiff defensive posture that had gradually formed throughout their talk.

 

“Pretty childish of me, right?” Kyuhyun weakly joked, and Donghae shook his head as he pulled the male into a hug, rubbing the tension from the male’s back as Kyuhyun eagerly accepted his hug.

 

“He was your first love and heartbreak, so it’s natural for you to be wary of accepting anything from him. But Siwon isn’t the same as he was then, Kyu. He doesn’t have to hide himself, which means your friendship won’t face the bumps that your relationship saw and felt.” Donghae softly explained as he tightened his hold on the male. “I think you should try it.”

 

“What?” Kyuhyun gasped in shock as he moved to see Donghae’s face. “Why?”

 

“I’m a firm believer in giving people second chances,” Donghae smiled as he tapped a finger to Kyuhyun’s nose. “People make mistakes or the wrong choices, so why not allow them the chance to prove that they’ve learnt from them?”

 

“And this won’t bother you?” Kyuhyun demanded.

 

“I acted a little dramatically, due to my own ridiculous fears and thoughts. Now that I’ve come back down to earth and thought and learned about our situation, I’ve learnt that just because of the way that my marriage ended, doesn’t mean that every relationship I’ll experience after it will involve what caused it to end.” Donghae explained, admitting his own mistake of how he handled the whole thing.

 

 “So, will you forgive me for my own mistake?” Donghae asked him as Kyuhyun took in his words.

 

Kyuhyun’s hands grasped his face, and before Donghae could realise what the male was doing, Kyuhyun’s lips were pressing against his own.

 

His reaction was just the same from every other kiss they’ve shared: heart racing, stomach fluttering, hands clutching the back of Kyuhyun’s head as he pressed closer to the male, missing the feel of him and enjoying their kiss.

 

Donghae felt something wet touch his face and he pulled back to see that it was Kyuhyun’s tears.

 

“I thought I wouldn’t get the chance to do this again,” Kyuhyun whispered as he pressed their foreheads together. “I thought I lost you and Hana.”

 

“Sometimes mistakes are made in order for us to learn and move on,” Donghae whispered soothingly before giving his boyfriend a reassuring and comforting kiss.

 

 “And together we’ll move on,” they both whispered against each other’s smiling lips, eyes closed as they both relaxed for the first time in days.

 

They’ve overcome this bump in their relationship, and now that they’ve both realised something new about each other whilst also learning just how much they care for each other.

 

The next bump won’t be a problem for them at all.

 

 

 

 

“By the way, Hana told me about what happened at the mall,” Donghae suddenly whispered into his ear from behind him, and Kyuhyun froze in terror as he realised he never got the chance to finish telling his boyfriend about it.

 

As his mind began to panic, Kyuhyun eased the knife that he’d been using to chop the salad to accompany their dinner onto the chopping board as Donghae’s hands slipped around his waist to hold him.

 

“If you remember, I was about to tell you, but Siwon rang, didn’t he?” Kyuhyun stuttered as he felt Donghae’s warmth from his mouth hit his neck.

 

Donghae chuckled, the sound vibrating through Kyuhyun’s body as the male rested his chin onto his shoulder.

 

“Hana beat you too it,” Donghae teased. “She told me as soon as you left.”

 

“It was my fault, I should’ve paid more attention,” Kyuhyun immediately apologised, head dropping slightly.

 

“It’s a habit of Hana’s, one that has caused me and her mother to lose her more often than I’d like to admit,” Donghae admitted with embarrassment. “She’s been good about it recently, but she forgot herself when she was out with you,” Donghae reassured him, squeezing him softly to show that he wasn’t holding him fully responsibly.

 

“Now, I just have to find a way to punish you,” Donghae’s voice dropped, and a rush of heat swept through Kyuhyun as Donghae nipped the side of his neck.

 

“I’m beginning to think you have a thing for biting me,” Kyuhyun commented as he tried to move to look at Donghae.

 

Donghae’s hips pressed his body against the kitchen counter, preventing him from moving as he continued to nip and kiss his neck.

 

“Then it’s a good thing that you like it, because while you make our dinner, I’m not leaving your side.” Donghae’s whisper was borderline seductive with a dose of playfulness as the male guided Kyuhyun’s hands to resume cooking.

 

“Is this my punishment?” Kyuhyun curiously asked with a smirk tugging at his lips as Donghae’s lips trailed up his neck, towards his ear.

 

“You won’t be laughing when I have you just as hot as that pan of boiling water,” Donghae teased as he nibbled Kyuhyun’s ear.

 

“You sound confident,” Kyuhyun laughed, even though he was already starting to feel Donghae’s teasing take it’s affect over his mind and body.

 

“I’m always confident when I deliver discipline.”

 

Kyuhyun’s clever retort never got the chance to leave his mouth, because Donghae’s hands left his own and moved to roam curiously over his body while his mouth set to work on his ear and neck.

 

“Isn’t this a little dangerous?!” Kyuhyun groaned as he fought to ignore Donghae, concentrating on making sure he didn’t slice his fingers off.

 

Donghae’s teeth clamped onto his flesh, causing Kyuhyun to cry out as Donghae began to suck and nibble to form a mark in the middle of the side of his neck just as one of Donghae’s hands teased his sides.

 

Kyuhyun dropped the knife, hands flying to remove Donghae’s hands from his ticklish sides, a moan leaving his mouth as Donghae pressed him back into the counter, causing just the right pressure for Kyuhyun to feel the roughness of Donghae’s jeans through his thin trousers.

 

Kyuhyun shoved away the thoughts of being able to feel Donghae himself, and shuddered with relief as Donghae’s mouth released his neck, the pain of having the mark made was causing his body to slowly throb.

 

“It’s a shame that you said that we’d take it slow,” Donghae suddenly whispered into his ear, causing the air to rush from his lungs as he felt Donghae slightly rub against his butt, the male’s sudden boldness rendering Kyuhyun a muted, flustered mess.

 

Donghae slipped from him, and Kyuhyun’s body immediately missed the male’s warmth as he turned to glare at the male.

 

“Your punishment is over, I’m going to ring Yeon Hee now,” Donghae cheerfully beamed at him, the change from a seductive, teasing bastard to regular old Donghae had Kyuhyun cursing him as he left the kitchen area.

 

Kyuhyun’s glare landed on the way that Donghae’s butt moved and looked delicious in those tight jeans, and cursed for allowing Donghae’s teasing to affect him.

 

As Kyuhyun returned to cooking their meal, listening to Donghae confirm he’d pick Hana up at a different time, which Yeon Hee didn’t mind and spoke to Hana, Kyuhyun began to plot his own form of punishment.

 

Now he just has to wait for Donghae to make a mistake so that Kyuhyun can correct him and ‘educate’ him.

 

Kyuhyun smiled to himself. It was nice to have things back to how they should be.

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> *still isn't over the fact this was wrote in 2012.....even more so that Hidden Bonds was wrote in 2011*


End file.
